Best Communication Skills Ever!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Client (to all): I want Foo.
Vendor: We don’t have Foo. We have the other things you want, though.
Client: Okay.
A few days later, the client sends project requirements to the provider.
Client: Here are my requirements. They include Foo.
Provider: The vendor doesn’t support Foo.
Client: Yes, they do.
Provider: No, they don’t. They said so during our kick-off meeting.
Client: Yes, they do.
Provider (realizing it’s pointless to argue): We’ll check with the vendor.
After a few confusing emails, the vendor calls the provider.
Vendor: Do you have any idea what the client is talking about?
Provider: Yes. They want Foo. Do you support Foo?
Vendor: No.
Provider: That’s what I thought you said. Could you please work that out directly with the client?
Vendor: Sure.
That conversation never happened.
A couple weeks later, the provider attempts to follow up and finalize requirements.
Provider (to all): So, how did that conversation go? Did you work out the issue with Foo?
Vendor: We don’t support Foo.
Client: Yes, Foo would be great. Vendor, you give us Foo; Provider, you can give us an estimate for implementation.
Provider: Didn’t the vendor just say that they don’t support Foo?
Client: Yeah, I get it. They don’t have Foo. So, just give me this thing that looks and sounds exactly like Foo.
Provider: Isn’t that the same as giving you Foo?
Client: No, “Foo” is something infinitesimally different. I want “Foo”.
Vendor: What you just described is Foo.
Client: Oh. ... So then, you don’t support Foo?
Vendor: No, we don’t support Foo.
Client: Oh. ... So then, if we use your services, we don’t get Foo.
Vendor: Correct.
Client: Oh. Okay, I understand.
Provider does face-palm.
A man's spirit sustains him in sickness,
but a broken spirit who can bear?
but a broken spirit who can bear?
— Proverbs 18:14